Trying to Understand....

I've always been a faithful person - to God, to my family, to my friends, etc. I've been tested before, but I feel like it's getting harder and harder everyday to understand my life.

Looking at me, most people see this happy, go-lucky, always smiling person. I am very blessed. I have an awesome family, a good job, and an amazing husband. God has truly provided me with everything I need. But deep down, I'm not sure where that girl is anymore. Why is it so hard to understand why He hasn't provided me with the one thing I want/need?

My faith is unshakable, except when it comes to a baby. Why is it so hard to believe that God is preparing us for our baby and preparing our baby for us when others are getting pregnant at the drop of a hat? Why is it fair that I have to teach 3 students (sophomores) who will all be mothers by the end of the year? How am I not ready for motherhood and these girls are?

It's really tough hearing people say 'O, its going to happen', 'Don't stress', 'Be patient'. There's that word again - patience. Trust me, I have patience. I teach 105 sophomores a day, coach my JV vball team, and deal with the school system in general. I been teaching for 4 years, and my patience is tried more and more every year and I haven't really lost it yet.

But when it comes to this baby, I am the most impatient person. It's really hard to stay patient when there's something you really want. Remember when you were a child waiting on Santa at Christmas, well, that's me now except multiply that by 1000 - then you may understand how I feel about having a baby.

A wise friend once told me that God would not have put this urge in my life to be a mother, if I wasn't going to be a mother. I believe that just like I believe that God will provide me with that opportunity. I'm just wondering when that time will come. The little doubt that I have makes me feel less of a Christian which makes me feel less about myself more than I already do. God is faithful to those that are faithful to him. I am on a journey to be more faithful and more patient.

I hope this is one of many blogs that I will post over the next few months describing my journey of becoming a better woman, a better Christian, and hopefully a better mother. One thing I must get better at doing is just being content with what I have - wonderful husband, family, & friends. I'm lucky to still have my job even though it seems more of a burden most days. I look for any help and guidance anyone has in any of those departments.

This is the first day of my journey of trying to understand everything I have, need, and want.

The Countdown is ON!

The countdown is officially on! Only 13.5 days of school left of the school year! My the year has flown (except for these last few weeks!). This got to me to thinkin': I need to find something memorable that happened every month of the school year! So here it goes:

August: First Day of School and looking forward to a great new year at school!

September: My volleyball team competed well in our first volleyball tournament while Michael's cross country teams racked up 1st places in all their CC meets.

October: We attended our first Oktoberfest in Fredricksburg. It was amazing! We had such a great time, even though I had walking pneumonia, at the Fest as well as our quaint B&B we stayed in! We have decided that Oktoberfest will happen every year in the Kunkel family!

November: We traveled all the way to Lubbock to meet up with some great friends for their wedding! Michael's cross country team made it to regionals also.

December: We were able to witness Brownwood make a deep run in the football playoffs. We got to visit our wonderful families at Christmas and got to spend a great Christmas vacation with each other! I enjoyed my first trip to Canton and I cannot wait to go back! One of my best friends, Malissa, gave birth to Baby Myla! My basketball team got first place in our own Brownwood tournament.

January: We purchased our new home in Brownwood! Pics to come soon!

February: We were snowed/iced in for almost a whole week! Crazy how three days can change in a blink of an eye!

March: Although Michael and I did not have the same Spring Breaks, we were able to spend time with each other. The Bluebonnet Relays came and went. We earned 1st place at our first track meet.

April: Attended my Great Uncle & Great Aunt's 50th wedding anniversary. The in-laws went to Thorndale with us for Easter to visit my entire family. Made our first trip to Green's Sausage House in Zabcikville - we will be returning very soon!!! My track season came to an end. Michael's track season was extended because some of their athletes made it to the state track meet! We signed contracts to be able to work again next year! MAJOR stress lifted off of our shoulders!

May: The official countdown to summer began! Michael is graduating from Tarleton with his Master in Kinesiology on May 14. I'm so proud of him! My brother from another mother, Matthew Galbreath, is marrying his lady love, Marsha. I get to take my Student Council kiddos to Fiesta Texas. May 28th - LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!! :)

Some Down Time

Well,
I was informed from a good college friend, Lindsey, today that I needed to get a new post on here because I haven't done one in a while. I almost forgot I had a blog! HAHAHAHA. But here we go -----

I am currently on spring break and its almost over while Michael is about to start his. :( I hate having different spring breaks - we never get to do anything exciting! I have been in Thorndale since Monday and have thoroughly enjoyed my time with my family and friends. It's hard living so far away from them, but I know that where I'm at in my life is all in God's plan. Today is my last day here and I'm headed back to Brownwood later this afternoon.

On Monday, I got to pick up my niece, Haleigh, from pre-K. What a joy! To have a child so excited to see you just overwhelms you. I love her like she's my own. :) Then I got back on my workout regimen and jogged all around Thorndale. It got me thinking - the more things change, the more they stay the same. I jogged all around and saw the homes of friends growing up, the tore up streets full of potholes, the high school kids still practicing baseball and softball, the little kids practicing t-ball, and it just brought back alot of wonderful memories. :)

Then on Tuesday, my mom, granny, and I all went to Round Rock. First stop was at Hobby Lobby. Gosh, I could spend a fortune in that store! I got baby Myla a new little bow (so cute!), a mold for my Scentsy wax, and some scrapbooking things. Then we did some errands for my Granny. We had such a relaxing day and I know the times I get to spend with them are very special. As soon as we got back to Thorndale, I got to pick up a special girl from school again. I'm telling you, that little girl absolutely melts my heart more times than I can count! I also got to take her to tball practice last night. I cannot wait to have a child of my own to teach and have fun with on the baseball/softball field! I also got to see one of my best friends, Malissa, and her baby, Myla, last night. She has changed so much since December. Probably one of the cutest babies ever! I cannot wait to have kids! I've got the fever pretty bad right now! When I got home, mom, dad, and I sat out on the front porch and just talked. The weather was perfect and its been a long time that were able to spend some alone time with each other. Later on, we got burgers from the beer joint and they were wonderful! Its been a very long time since I've had one!

Now its Wednesday. I'm about to make lunch for mom and go visit my Meme and Grannie Biehle then its on my way back to Brownwood to spend a couple of days with Michael before he goes on break. Plus, I just miss my hubby. God truly put the most wonderful man in my life!

Michael and I are looking to take a trip to the Dominican Republic - Punta Cana this summer. We are naming it our 'Early Birthday/Anniversary/Graduation (Michael gets his Masters in May)/Before we have babies trip'! We are so excited to try something out of our comfort zones but I think it will be good for the both of us to spend quality time alone with each other since we are so busy with our careers. Coaching is awesome, but since we both coach, that means no time during the year for each other. That's a new goal for us too - not to let our 'work' consume us. Maybe thats something everyone can work on! :)